Getting and Giving

For the longest time, on one of our (too) many trips to Target, I'd wonder as we wandered down the aisles if Ethan would ever be one of those kids I seemed to see all around me -- the ones whining about going to see the toys or about which toy they had to have. Granted, I didn't really wish for Ethan to start incessantly nagging and whining, but at the same time, I wondered.

For the longest time, he just didn't care. And then, he cared about seeing the things Anna liked, because they were familiar. Since he didn't really play with toys of his own, dolls and My Little Ponies were what jumped out at him because sister liked them.

I should mention, of course, that he always liked the TVs.

Then came the day less than a year ago when he looked around at everything and announced, in a tone similar to Anna's, "This is the GIRL stuff. I want to look at the BOY toys."

And so (oh joy!) we headed over to the "boy" section, with its Thomas Trains and Star Wars merchandise and Hot Wheels cars. Ethan looked at everything for about a millisecond and then gravitated towards the interactive displays. This went on for a number of months. If there was a button, he was there. But our particular Target at least has phased out some of his beloved interactive displays. And so, in the past several months, Ethan has continued to ask to look at the toys. Right now he's got a pretty exact system down that involves checking out the light sabers, Angry Birds, two guys fighting Samurai game, and then the Wii U display.

He never glances at anything else. And that's okay. His toy "repertoire" at home is still pretty limited. This is what it is.

But even on our most annoying, exhausting days at Target, when I want to wring the kids' necks and just get what we need and get out of there...when I hear him whining about going to the toys, I just can't get mad. I remember that it took him nearly 5 years to ask or to care, and I remember once again the way little things can be big things.

Same goes for birthdays. Even after Ethan began caring about his own birthday (probably his 4th but definitely his 5th) he still didn't really notice others'. I can remember getting little pictures and attempts at birthday cards from Anna when she was as young as three. By four she was wrapping up little "presents" for us that she'd found around the house.

Ethan? Usually our conversation would go something like, "Ethan? It's Anna's birthday!"

"Oh."

"Can you say happy birthday?"

"Happy Birthday, Anna." Case closed.

A few days ago, on the morning of Anna's 9th birthday, Ethan bounded out of bed and ran down to her room.

"Happy Birthday, Anna!" he called. Then he ran to me. "I was the first person to say Happy Birthday to Anna!" he announced.

"Awesome! Are you going to give her a present?"

"Umm, yeah. What can I give her?" Before I could answer, he said, "I know, I can give her a DVD!"

I thought he was going to run over to the shelves and get one to wrap up the way Anna used to do. Oh no. I saw a questioning look in his eyes.

"How do we make a DVD?"

"Umm, Ethan..."

"I know! We need one of those black things." I think he meant the case. He went digging in some cabinets under the TV. "We need to make a picture of some ponies," I heard him say.

"Ethe, it's really hard to MAKE a DVD." I wasn't quite sure how to explain this. I looked over and saw one of Anna's old My Little Pony DVDs. "This one has ponies. How about we give this to her?"

Ethan liked this idea, so we presented Anna with her first present ever from her little brother, along with a card that I coached him to write (Ethan is NOT the boy to sit around and painstakingly create a card or picture for anyone).

Anna graciously accepted her gifts.

In very many ways, it was a beautiful birthday.