Words, Play and Love

I just read an article about the way a child's vocabulary and pretend play appear to almost always be linked: as kids expand and broaden the scope of their pretend play, so their vocabulary is expanding simultaneously, and vice versa. I'd never thought about that before, and I began to wonder why that is. I know it has something to do with this "theory of the mind" I've heard about and read about in various articles on autism research. I'm hard-pressed to correctly explain it, but I think it has something to do with being able to conceptualize...having the ability to imagine something in your head that isn't happening right in front of you and isn't literal and concrete. That is what pretend play is, essentially, and it's something children on the autism spectrum often have trouble with. But how does the language link happen? That is where I'm still stumped. Apparently I'm not alone. After a little digging, I found that researchers aren't sure themselves why pretend play and vocabularly blossom simultaneously.

That being said, and for whatever reason, I have noticed that as Ethan begins to delve into just the beginnings of pretend play, his vocabularly has simultaneously been increasing. He is just beginning to combine words: and it's literaly within the same week that he's begun putting words together ("light on!""car go!") is that he's been a little more explorative in his play.

With every pretend play action, he has to see me do it first. He may only need to see it one time, but I have to model it first (like feeding his Elmo doll). Sometimes I'm proud of him for picking things up so quickly. Other times I wonder just what is going on inside his mind that makes spontaneous play so difficult?

I hate to make my child sound like a science experiement. It's not like that at all. I love him so deeply...so much it hurts sometimes. I think we all feel that way about our kids. And we all marvel at watching them grow and learn. Because Ethan has some added challenges, I also am constantly trying to get into his head and see things from his perspective, or think about what I could do differently to help him in areas where he has trouble.

I know every moment of every day cannot be that way. There have to be times of just hugs, tickles, kisses and snuggles, where whatever he is learning or not learning is set aside so he can just be loved.