A Long Week

We had a rough week. My, what a week. I don't know what it was...the holidays and family visits and egg hunts or some missing naps or the drippy cold/pink eye thing or the incredible amounts of junk food. Whatever it was, I hope it's going away. Ethan was so scattered and "off." I could tell he was struggling but didn't know how to help him. That was the most frustrating part. I didn't know when to have compassion and when to be strict. I know all moms go through this in their own way. Mommy guilt attacks because you just want to do it right.

All day over the weekend, particularly at other people's houses, Ethan just wanted to play with doors...again and again and again and again. He sang about the doors, he cried when taken away. Then he's got this taking off the diaper in the crib and peeing everywhere thing. And he's freaking out about a haircut. I honestly don't know what to do about that. He cries and cries now if scissors come near him. And he was so distracted, flitting about from one thing to the next.

After weeks like this I am so grateful to have therapists to talk to who can offer an objective opinion without a ton of emotion and all of the mommy guilt. And I'm thankful for friends to vent to, friends who understand, and friends who are offering their own support and advice. We all NEED that sometimes. We can't do this alone, whatever it is we're struggling with. I know that more than ever.

And so today I feel more grounded. Jessica told me quite simply that it seemed as if Ethan was just stressed and felt there were too many demands put on him, and he's just doing some things that give him a sense of control and calm. I know that I KNEW that. But somehow hearing someone else say it (actually, several "someones") has just filled my heart with compassion for him.

It's a new week and things are calming down. The six egg hunts and mounds of candy are over and done with. The loud and crowded family gatherings are done for now. We'll deal with next time when we get to it. And I'll probably be dealing with another wet crib (hopefully just wet and nothing else!) sometime tomorrow. But there are times I just need to take a deep breath and give my boy a hug. That's what we all need sometimes, when we're trying so hard and not always succeeding.