Wednesday, October 14, 2020


I was walking on the river trails in town, kicking my feet through fallen leaves. The light was golden and I was thinking of many things: including a devotional I'd been reading about the value of joy, and the fact that our Bible translations often don't quite nail the word right. Joy in scripture has a meaning equivalent to the look someone has on their face when they're happy to see you (you know, when we say someone's "face lights up"). Picture looking at your small child, sleeping. Precious. 

That led me to thinking about children and why they seem so much happier than adults so much of the time. It's no secret kids laugh many, many more times in a day than adults do. It's because they still have a sense of wonder, I thought, looking up at the vast trees about me. Everything is still new. And children, I thought, are still trusting and innocent. Less jaded by disappointment. 

I kept coming back to the idea of wonder. And that led to thinking of the word wonderful. They're too very different words today, aren't they? I hear wonder and I think wide open eyes and amazement. Awe. Wonderful seems almost like a pleasantry. "The food was wonderful"..."We had a wonderful time"..."That's wonderful that you got a new job." Wonderful means we're getting what we want and what makes us happy. 

But maybe there is a better way, and maybe it's the only way to be, when this world, when our lives and circumstances in the here and now are not so wonderful. 

What about being wonder-full? 

An internet search tells me wonder means to have "a feeling of surprise mingled with admiration, caused by something beautiful, unexpected, unfamiliar or inexplicable." 

We all love wonder. We all want to be full of wonder, don't we? But when I look at that definition, I have to acknowledge what wonder is not: control. 

Wonder is not being able to tidily answer every "why?" question.

Wonder is sometimes doubt and rarely rational. 

Wonder is about something outside of and beyond us. 

Wonder is surprise at what can't be explained, but isn't that what we all want? And so wonder implies humility. If we know all, understand all, have done it all, why would anything inspire wonder?

There is that famous line in the poem Invictus the reads, "I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul." Stirring words for those who do not wish for circumstances to define them, yes. 

But not the words of a child. In some ways I feel I need to stay one. The way I see to find joy and beauty in a grim and dark world is the way of wonder. Not just awe at the brilliance of a sunset or autumn leaves, but a different kind of awe that involves submission and acknowledgement of something greater than I am.  

As the story of Job recounts, after all of the heartache and a whirlwind blast of a conversation with God, after having none of his pain validated or questions answered, he responded with: "Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know." 

Could it be. He found peace not that in everything was wonderful. But in being wonder-full.

Somehow, when all we have is  not enough, it is enough. So I will choose to again and again open my hands and place the questions and unknowns into the arms of the one whose thoughts are not my thoughts, whose ways are not my ways. When I do, I am left with something not necessarily good at first sight, not necessarily safe and tidy, but something too wonderful for me to know. On this side of eternity, that can be enough. 



Sarah Morgan said...

I want every herpes patient to please read my testimony, my name is SARAH MORGAN and I am from California in the USA, I contracted genital herpes from my ex boyfriend who never had any symptoms. I have had it for 4 months now., and it has affected my life. I have told my boyfriends who I trusted about it and I have never had a bad reaction, it has affected my new relationships with Smith and people think herpes is really a minor skin irritation herpes has a long term effects on health. The stigma attached to this virus by ignorant people is ridiculous. Most people have herpes in one form or another. I would like to advise people on how I get rid of my herpes and I was reading a comment on the internet,and I saw a testimony posted by a woman from Germany that she get rid of her herpes with the help of DR AHKIGBE and so I was so happy when I saw that post, that his herbal medication is free and I quickly collected the herbal doctor email and I email him within 3 hr he respond to my email and I explain things to him he told me not to worry that he is going to cure me totally with his herbal medicine he only request for little money that he will use to buy the items for the preparation of the herbal medicine, wish I send to him because the pain was too much for me to bear and after some days he told me that he has prepare the herbal medicine, that I should send him my address that he want to send it to me via DHL or FED-EX that was how I got the herbal medication and I use it as I was told and after few days I found out that my herpes was no more, i went to hospital for confirmation and it was true really that was how i got my cured. DR AKHIGBE also cure other deadly diseases like,  HIV/AIDS, HERPES, DIABETES,CANCER, ALS, ASTHMA, WEAK BODY,  HEPATITIS A&B, DENGUE FEVER, RABIES, MARBURG  DISEASE, THYROID,  HYPEROPIA, SMALLPOX, ARTHRITIS, MENINGITIS ,LUPUS, EPILEPSY, CHRONIC DISEASE, DICK AND BREAST ENLARGEMENT, MALARIA, BACTERIAL DIARRHEA HEART DISEASE., JOINT PAIN, STOMACH PAIN,  DENGUE SCHIZOPHRENIA, POLIO,MULTIPLES SCLEROSIS, HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE,  SORENESS/INJURY,  VAGINAL  DISCHARGE,  CHANCROID, DEPRESSION, TUBERCULOSIS, ALZHEIMER , PENIS ENLARGEMENT, VAIN, PARKINSON'S, to get your rid kindly via his email:    contact his number:  +2349010754824           website:       you can still write me on Instagram to get more information. on Sarah Morgan 06.

Floortime Lite Mama said...

SO true " We are perishing for a want of wonder "